Is this saying it's okay?
But I know
You want me to stay.
If only if only,
I could see the light in day.
But my heart has wandered elsewhere,
My soul stays in dismay.
And I feel I am a specimen,
Of depression, on display.
You wandered into my life,
Just as I pressed it close.
The blade upon my knife,
Smiling, about to boast.
Through blurred vision,
Eyes filled with tears,
I’d made my last decision,
but even through standing there,
With deadly precision,
I missed my chest
The blade slid by,
And you fill in the rest.

Upon deaf ears,
Your words have not fallen.
Though at times it seems so.
I'm still here, hands a crawling,
Grouping, feeling low.
I am at need, which pains me,
For I’m too independent for my good.
But I want you to know I’m listening,
Doing what I know you think I should.